Chaotic Order.

Adrian de León
3 min readMar 26, 2021
Photo by Joseph Barrientos on Unsplash

The feeling of comfort, the feeling that chaos has been overcome by Order, is a state of being that often leaves me perplexed. Chaos, though a constant in this world, the perfect lexicon for an inevitable facet of life, pushes me to seek Order at all time.

I seek Order. Why? To gain control; to gain on control on what? This continues to be something that eludes me. On some days, I tend to believe I seek control on the world that surrounds me, on the fate that awaits me. On others, I tend to seek control on the actions I bestow onto this world. The same world whose Chaos, by it’s very fleeting nature, leads me down roads I have never chosen.

It could be said, that by seeking Order, I can take back control from the hands of a chaotic environment, and decide which road I shall embark on. Order is where all variables are under control, it is a place in which you feel at ease. Order is where all of your energies, those in your control, and those out of, mingle in a perfect symbiosis. It is a place where everything makes sense; or enough sense for you to control what that sense means to you.

Yet, Order, once achieved, teases me with it’s arrogant ephemerality. Order, is a animal, a being, that thrives and purrs in the notion of its brevity. It torments you as it slips between your fingers, it leaves its lingering scent behind as it inevitably disappears. Order keeps the…