agent of Chaos

Adrian de León
3 min readAug 14, 2022
Photo by Callum Skelton on Unsplash

The property of a complex system whose behaviour is so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions.”

We have created systems to nullify the complexity of our world; first we relied on the system of nature, then we created gods which we canonised into various monolithic systems, and now we abide to rules and expectations created in utilitarian values based off an inter-subjective notion called Society.

We have set norms and expectations under a thinly veiled blanket of freedom. We live in a plural world dominated by a single ideology, and outliers are more-or-less punished depending on how much value they have. I, like many others, struggle to fit-in within these norms as the years since my birth accumulate. I never chose this life, and I certainly never chose to have a life, yet I am bound to toe-the-line and comply with expectations set by men who never had our best intentions to heart. I have been expected to learn the ropes without ever burning my hands, and if you slip down then it is up to you to pull yourself up.

If chaos was a structure that I could sense within my fabulous five, I would equate it to a black hole. If chaos followed me around like an obedient dog, never too close but never too far, then I would stare into its abyss. I would look closely expecting to see anyone but me engulfed in its clutches. On days that I could never foresee I start from a safe distance and lean in closer, and on some days that I could have foreseen, I let chaos grab a hold of me. If the behaviour that was to push me deep into its clutches took a human form, their name would be Self-Destruction.

Under the realm of Society, Chaos and Self-Destruction work in perfect symbiosis to punish those whose weaknesses are too strong to contain. Many people do not see a black hole, nor do they sense a companion when they go about their daily lives. There is no one to push them into Chaos because they would happily jump in themselves. They have created a world in which society exists with a small “s” and does not play a capital role in their lives. They do not feel bound by our rules, and for this they fascinate us. Our culture feeds this fascination through our music, media, and cultural icons.

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