Accepting the self.

Adrian de León
2 min readAug 23, 2021

However hard we try to overcome nature, both environmental and personal, there are some things we cannot change. One of which is the notion of acceptance. All humans, whether they admit it or not, are plagued by the desire for acceptance. Whether it is that of our family — beginning with our parents — friends, or society; we act so that we may be accepted. A lot of trauma in adulthood stems from a lack of acceptance, which sometimes turns into outright rejection, in childhood. There is a variant of acceptance less documented, less acknowledged, and harder to address: that of self-acceptance. Notions of the quest to accepting one’s self permeates in scientific, technological, philosophical and interpersonal endeavours. Religion and other forms of divne worship have delegated the need for acceptance away from the self and over to the spiritual, the immaterial, the unquantifiable. It is easier to be accepted by a notion that won’t hold you to account. Today’s society, beset by a hyper-capitalist mindset, blazing in the glory of the individualistic aspiration, has emerged as one plagued by the spectre of a lack of self-acceptance. Capitalism requires conformity, it requires acceptance to revolve around a set of cultural definitions that always comply within the framework of consumerism. To be accepted, you must fall into a defined set of notions, spanning from the innocuous cultural artefact, to the gender, sexual or racial norms that have plagued our species’ history. Capitalism thrives on pushing these norms to their extremes. Its purpose and identity, relies on the fact that it can provide you with the consumer products that will fill the gap left by this lack of acceptance. Our cultural and media landscape has us believing that acceptance is conforming to an ideal mansqueraded as a standard. Self-acceptance is never promoted because you cannot commodify it and you cannot market it. Self-acceptance, the feeling that exists beyond the quantifiable realm, the one which lives in the gut and in the heart, is not a product. It is yours, to attain, to maintain, to nourish, and cherish. No one can give it to you, and most importantly no one can sell it to you. Self-acceptance based on monetary value is a scam, it resides in the realm of deceit. Self-acceptance, is to see the person in the mirror for what he/she/they is, a product of an evolutionary miracle, standing on the shoulders of a succession of generational miracles. An individual constantly learning, constantly on the cusp of failure. You will never be an ideal, because ideals are only snippets of the human condition. They are representation of a certain desire, often a desire that revolves around profitability. It is your inability, and not ability, to reach this ideal which drives the free-market. Self-acceptance is a hard and trecherous journey, however, it can only end in the place where it began, with yourself.

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